Monday................

its monday.. part of me was excited to get back to a normal week.. part of me wasnt..
So friday, i went to see gg and i had time to spend since i was off and jax was in daycare.. i have to tell you that for the first time sitting there, i felt that i had no connection to her there.. like i know, she is there, but i feel her with me soo much more than i have ever in my life.. strange, but i almost feel like she is protecting me..

Was an overall good weekend. .got some good quality jax time in.. i feel good today. .
Tonight, ZUMBA!!

courage

Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage

new beginnings~

so here i sit at my little make shift office/cube hole in the far front corner of my oddly shaped bedroom. I have a cup of coffee and a whole lot of shit to say..
My husband and i have split. Not officially or legally but he now occupies a small studio not to far from here. .
He says that this is mostly my doing, however, its not..
Its equal, i believe. He most certainly wants the woman he met back.. Sorry to say she died with my daughter..
What i want is for him to stop looking for greener pastures so to speak.
I was never a snooper, but when your gut tells you to, you do it.
And i am surprised every goddam time i look

Now we will see how long this train wreck occupies his time.. He thinks i don't know.. innocent conversation or not.. I guess since I'm old news and non exciting, spending hours on the phone with me or texting me, or perhaps looking at me like i was that exciting shiny new toy shouldnt be expected..
oh well.. moving on..

Tomorrow is a mental health day for me.. Lil man will be in daycare and i will be out doing what I want. No interruptions.. I'm soooo looking forward to it..